January 19, 2012

"When Life Is a Pain in the Neck - Literally”

My surgery scheduled for tomorrow is somewhat embarrassing.  In view of other people’s more difficult physical and emotional problems, I only have a small lump in my neck.  It is probably "necrotic tissue” (something has died in there and blocked one of my salivary glands).  One very small blockage, yet it has led to a plethora of comical events.                                                                                                                                                 

• One very small blockage has resulted in multiple trips to the University of Pennsylvania Hospital – so many that I am on a first name basis with the parking attendant (I really am). I think that I have spent enough on gasoline and parking fees to have a hospital wing named after me.                                                                                                                                                                                                    
• One very small blockage had me wait a total of eight hours in the waiting room (so far) to see my doctor. (I not only finished last year’s Christmas cards; I started working on 2012 as well.) God is developing patience in this patient.                           
• One very small blockage led to a surgery being postponed last summer.  Everyone knew about the postponement but me. When I didn’t hear from anyone official to tell me the time of my surgery, I called after five o’clock. Everyone had left for the day. I think it was the night janitor who told me that I had to reschedule for another time. (I hope he doesn’t send me a bill).                                                                                                                                                                                                     
• One very small blockage has led to many talks with my doctor who keeps telling me that he’s "the best”!  I keep saying, "We’ll see”.  (He did not lift my spirits at our last visit when he told me that he would be using a robotics machine and that he’s "getting better and better at it”.)

The jokes have been endless. Someone told me that our church board voted 20 to 15 to pray for my recovery.  Two men have volunteered to perform the surgery in their garages using a hammer (for anesthesia) and everyday power tools for the cutting.  (They say their rates are better.)  My own mother told many people in her retirement community that the growth was "just the meanness coming out of me”.   

So, in the midst of all this excitement, I wrote a song in honor of "going under the blade” tomorrow, based upon the tried and true hymn "It Is Well With My Soul.”  The words go like this:

When surgeons and nurses attendeth my way,

Their talents and skills I’ll respect

Whatever my lot, I should certainly not say,

"This has all been a pain in the neck!”

On a more solemn note, I do thank you for your prayers.  Infection after the surgery would lead to more serious complications.  I have again been reminded (since the word "cancer” has been thrown around by my doctor from time to time) of what Moses told us in Psalm 90:12 (my paraphrase) – "Teach us to count our days to make our days count!”

I am thankful to all who are praying and for your warm wishes!

Pastor Brian